Workin' woman

Wow. This last year has been an adventure! I am taking stock and gearing up for spring, time of renewal, time to get things going again...
Sadly, I sucked in the gardening department last summer. Absolutely.  I think I got 10 tomatoes out of the deal.  I also was too busy to tend flowers, which I love doing.  Everything is a trade-off, and I'm okay with it all,  I was having a lot of fun!
It is the time when I start looking for my garden gloves and clippers so I can go outside and put things in the ground.  Primroses have already been purchased and planted and lend a wee bit-o-color on a grey day.
The year:
1. Our guinea pigs, Guinevere and Flambe, can now be visited in the pet graveyard that came with the house. No worries, it was natural causes.
2. I  finally painted my living room!  It only took almost two years, and three color choices spread at sporadic places on the walls before I committed and painted it fully.
3. There is a wonderful partner, friend, man in my life.  And I am having a blast.
4. I was looking at jobs with my daughter, who is going to college, and saw one that I qualified for with a nearby 501(c)3.  I applied and got it!  I was going to look for a job by June, and here I am, a workin' woman again.
5. My "unusual" medical stuff seems to be in a holding pattern.
6. My daughter graduated high school, got a piece of work not-really-sane boyfriend, flailed around, quit college, pushed every button and limit I ever had...put her head back on,  started college, ... and started seeing the same boy again.  Argggh.  Pretty sure she is not going down the same path but if she needs to go, I can't stop her. (Which kills me....but it is all part of life, and making mistakes, blah, blah, blah)
7. Growing more and more gray hair. (see above...)
8. Our son is growing leaps and bounds and achy and grumpy and joyous all within the same five minutes.  Ah, to be 14 again.
8. Bought a new (used) car. It is a little zippy.  I have already been pulled over for zippiness, not speeding.  No ticket, however! Killer gas mileage.  40+mpg.
9.  Almost started working on the upstairs bathroom again.  Then it was decided to sister joists under that bathroom to stop the floor/ceiling from flexing which entails my dining room ceiling coming down.  And, while we are at it, might as well re-do the dining room electrical.  Waiting for that project to become a manageable size again with a firm cost. Oh, and I suppose the discretionary funds to complete it in my savings account would be nice.  I would love a soaking tub again.  Sigh.

Port Townsend, Ft. Worden beach. 

Prom Season

So my daughter looked at prom dresses about a month ago.  Her friend found one for $200, Rose found one for $1400.  Ha.  I heard nothing else about prom stuff until this weekend.  One week before the actual day.  She has no dress, no shoes, no hair plan, nails, etc etc blah blah. 
A good friend asked her to go to prom with some beautiful flowers and her favorite coffee drink.  (We are such NW people, bribe us with coffee and we will pretty much do anything!) 
She was stressin'.  With nothing to wear, and a week until the show.  We got on the ferry after school Monday and blazed through traditional bridal/event dress stores, department stores, boutiques.  Found nothing.  Was hot footing it to the late night ferry and had 30 minutes before the ferry left to blaze through a large downtown department store.  She pulled five dresses into the room.  When she put on the second she became instantly excited about prom.  It is the dress for her.  She ran downstairs to find shoes and the salesman gave her a 10% additional discount along with their sale price.  It was a good day. 

Rose and Nick. Prom 2013.

Where have I been?

Where have I been? Obviously not posting on this blog.  It is spring, the garden is calling, or more loudly, the weeds are growing.  I also got a part-time job, the kids are doing kid stuff which means growing up and making dorky dumb decisions (like "If I say I don't have homework and don't do it -- it will disappear" or "when driving if I back into a rock -- I should go faster to get off it quicker." These are all necessary mistakes to make on their way to growing up but jeez-louweezie they are guaranteed to keep my grey hair growing in lush and fast.  It also seems like high school is one big marijuana festival, I am so naive I thought it was a few kids, like when I was in school-- the 'stoners.' Nope, there is a serious pot problem out there, the football team gets high before practice.  The 4.0 students do it during school.  Do you have that in your schools?  I was shocked when I learned all this.  I knew it was bad when a police car pulled over a school bus.  For pot.   

Good thing Rose never looks at my website...this is her getting a color in her hair to fix a color experiment she and a friend tried.   The experiment did not work, hence the professional intervention.

I can't blog without my camera.

Image: The birthday boy during his nerf war party, in May.
I cannot find my camera. That means I don't blog. I can't show you pics of my half-torn out bathroom nor my new tile nor the new chicks being batty nor the cauliflower, rabe, basil growing (since we are finally having 3 days of sunshine and above 70 weather). I think I "put it away" when cleaning. Not really sure where that "put away" spot would be. I hear short term memory is the first thing to go.

The 4th and fireworks

Pic: The fearless fireworks watching cat Bella. (Can you tell we got her during a Twilight saga?)

Last night, Rose and I sat outside in our driveway watching the neighbors shoot off WAY LARGE fireworks, not the little "cones of sparks" or "happy pagoda house" that we used to do. The kind that shoot in the sky and force out an "ooooh" or "aaah" from your body. The bonus of living near a reservation (well, depending on if you like loud noises).... is all our neighbors spend oodles to buy big fireworks for the 4th, and then we get to watch them. Our chicken dog Amanda sat under our legs trying to bury her head anywhere. Our cat Belly sat in front of us and the horses stood next to us, watching the sky. Afterwards, Rose found the big dipper and then we spent a good ten minutes using the big dipper to find the north star and little dipper. We are not so quick in these constellation searches. As soon as we found the little dipper, a shooting star fell across our line of sight. We both laughed, Rose said it was the stars telling us 'good job' after our lame long search for the small dipper.
Yesterday was also the culmination of four BBQ's in three days. I am a little tapped out on burgers right now. I think I could eat the strawberry shortcake again, however.

Horses, Boys and Salons

Yesterday we took Strider into the vet to get a laceration three stitches. I thought once I fixed the dilapidated fence that the horses would float on a cloud of safety. Nope. Went out a couple days ago and Strider had a one inch cut under his eye. I cleaned it with betadine, put some antiseptic ointment on it and it looked good for about 36 hours until it started healing in the wrong way (the skin was aligning unevenly). I had previously scheduled a salon appointment at 4:15, and normally a 2:30 vet appointment would be fine since they are all in a five mile radius from my home. It would have worked until..... the vet was an hour behind schedule and the laceration took three stitches instead of one and Strider needed a tetanus update. When we left, instead of dropping the horse off, I drove the horse trailer and Wilder and his friend to the salon. We parked in a bank parking lot that was big enough for the trailer and horse and I gave Wilder my debit card to get cash out of the bank and while I ran over to the salon where I was 10 minutes late.When I was done and paying the gal behind the counter told me how mature the boys were and how they regaled her with horse stories and getting cash for the first time out of a cash machine at the drive through window. As we left the salon, Wilder's friend told me he "was not really a salon type man." When I looked at the magazines in the waiting area I could see why. Probably not so keen on the fancy hats of the royal wedding, how to keep their man satisfied and getting ready for bikini season. They are good sports.
My vet visit cost $229. Anyone considering horse ownership because it is "fun" and "you have always wanted to have a horse" needs to realize how dang expensive their upkeep is. And you can't scrimp, they are big creatures that take alot of maintenance and if defered can cause your horse to be good for nothing but the glue factory. Hooves, teeth, worms, vaccines... monthly, quarterly, annually. Dollars, dollars, dollars. Sorry this got a bit rant-y. My horseshoer just was out telling me horse ownership horror stories --he sees alot of them, and some are hard to hear.

Movie : Super 8

We went to Super 8 last night. It was a huge nostalgia flick for me... back to the 70's and a gentler time, where men are men and bottle feelings, Farrah Faucet hairstyles reined supreme in the younger set, cars were big, gas was cheap and kids had the attention span to do detailed things for hours without interruption. (film making, explosive creation, model building) I think I actually screamed in public during this movie. I actually can't be sure if it was me or the man next to me, I did startle at least ten times during this show. My point being it was action packed and thrilling and sweet and funny and I kept thinking "aw, I haven't seen a movie like this in eons." It is the summer blockbuster.

My son should not see this, he would bite his fingernails off. It was even a bit much for our newly minted 16 year old. When I said I could see it again she said it was so stressful, she couldn't. She is going on her first date today, and they are going to see Kung Fu Panda 2.

Procrastination List

I haven't done one of these lists in a while, and as I sit here with my coffee, I can tell I am procrastinating.
All because what is on my list for today is to Clean. As in Clean my House. I have people coming over all weekend, so I am to make my house have no animal hair in the corners, make sure the newspapers (only cartoons from the kids) are not stacked next to the toilet, on the back on the couch, behind the couch, under their beds, and then maybe try not to stack my stupid paperwork. So in honor of all things organized, I am drafting a to-do list:
1. Clean floors. God, I hate to clean floors. I use the height excuse, I am 6' tall so the floors are realllllly far away and hard for me to see, let alone clean. And I know that is a lame excuse.
2. Finish stupid detail painting around doors. The problem with painting in the evening hours is maybe you can't see what you are painting and need to do touch-ups.
3. Clean out laundry room. For some reason our laundry room is the dump zone for saddles, garden seeds and gloves, horse medicine, baseball mitts, clean and dirty clothes - hopefully all separate from each other.
4. Cook prep for this weekends BBQ. This is actually the only fun thing on here. Except afterwards I would have to....
5. Clean the kitchen. What is it with white cupboards? I can wipe them down and then no joke, within 30 minutes there is coffee/butter/dog drool/honey dripped down a side of them or at least a droplet somewhere on their formerly pristine surface.
4. Deal with Wilder's baseball team. Figure out if I want to go for their jugular or let Wilder pull out of this team with minimal fuss. I am having a really hard time and vascillating between motherclaws extended defense of my son who is being bullied and the coaches (I keep typing couches) do nothing or just letting my son back out quietly and making damn sure he is on a team next year that understands the concept of TEAM- teamwork, sportsmanship, grace.... I don't really want the last memory of his 11 year old boy baseball career in Little League to be his mom going all ballistic.
This seems to be the age that alot of boys have very ugly memories of sports, it does not matter if they exceled or not at a sport. There is some boy pecking order that has to occur that some kids can handle, and right now, our youngster cannot. It kills me to see that, so I am trying to maintain a professional coolness to a very hot topic for me.
5. Finish the haphazard daughter mowing. I swear she drives our mower like she is racing, and sometimes that does not lend itself to a lovely mow job so I go behind and do the fine edging work at a slower speed.
6. Dust.
7. Move Christmas train and bag of ornaments downstairs to storage. I don't even want to talk about this, how when I was moving pictures in the living room last night I found it all still sitting next to the piano. Embarassing.

General news: newly wedded gal and hub are going on their honeymoon to Ireland and Italy. My mom is in town for the kids birthdays from Michigan, she wisked the kids to Sequim today for a daytrip so I could... what? Clean? ha.
I am going to docent volunteer at a local lighthouse. A very enthused bunch, which is cool to see. Lighthouses always happen to be in lovely areas, I am looking forward to learning about ships, boats, dinghys and other floating things. Have applied for two whole jobs! So exciting. I don't think I really know how to do this job hunt thing. I am wondering if I ever did? Will keep you posted.

The Birthday Season is Upon Us

My children were born 8 days, four years apart. That means this time of year is a fest of kid and family events. Since they have gotten older we combine their 'adult' party of family members into a picnic or BBQ.
Today will be spent cleaning my house and replacing my garbage disposal that got stuck when I dropped my whole change cup in the sink. And then turned on the garbage disposal. In my defense, I thought I had all the pennies and dimes out, but those dimes are tricky and it seems there are a few lodged in there. It has sat so long because I have a double sink, and just haven't been missing that extra side.
Now, however, thanks to helping hands doing dishes that forget we can't put water down that side, I have Blech, Gross, Ack, disgusting water sitting in that sink since it can't get down the drain.
Funny how this started as a birthday notice, and now has rolled into a gross house story.
I did finish painting the kitchen, entry and front door jambs. You ever paint and then look at the color and decide you don't like it? I am somewhat in that space. BUT hell if I am painting it all again. Everyone else seems to like it so I will leave it. It is a bit too sunny yellow for me. (And truth be told, that is what I wanted... "I want a sunny bright yellow")
Pic: Not sure if this is before we (meaning I hired Javier to do it in 12 minutes where it would take me 31 hours and three trips to the hardware store) put in the marble backsplash I got for free from Craigslist. I can't see the detail on it. Regardless, you can see my new sink with the now stopped up disposal.

Great and busy week!

It has been a busy week. We spent the day at Viking Fest in Poulsbo, the kids disappeared for five hours on rides, Geri came early from Seattle to watch the parade and eat ice cream, we hung with friends in on their sailboat and then walked the beach with dogs and other friends. We have been riding more, which is great for the fat horses. The second and fourth photos are an art walk we went on in the Greenwood neighborhood of Seattle with Eve and Paulo. Even though not traditionally gallery-like, the classic car restorers garage was one of my fave art pieces. Lovely, lovely cars. The window shot is a musician that had been playing in an antique store sitting on a padded toilet visible in the window. They were pretty good, not sewer like at all.
Thirdly, Rose is goofing off having a hilltop zen moment at the most amazing park on Bainbridge Island that has a planetarium, every kind of sport field imaginable, and a great big circle trail around the place. The boy bathroom had copious amounts of pee on the floor and that was not so cool, but otherwise an excellent park.

Finally, finally I got to go on the Navy destroyer Turner Joy which is parked, or anchored, as you grammatically correct people may choose to say, on the Bremerton waterfront and I have wanted to clamber all over it for ever. (It is open to the public and you can go almost everywhere on it, every deck, every level -- ROCKS.)

Options and Identity

Pic totally unrelated to topic: Next to the Edmonds ferry dock is an odd little wetlands of sorts. It is riddled with the noxious weed purple loosestrife in the summer.

This is what it is. I get my identity from my job. When I was an executive director or manager that was it. When I am not working, I still get my identity from my job - my mom job. When I am looking for work, it is a constant see-saw between keeping myself child focused or career focused. I can go for the higher paying fully sustainable income... with the subsequent dinnertime meetings and overtime or the easier less hours job that would require ex-husband financial assistance while the kids are still in school.
I see it has been good for my kids to have a parent more accessible and home as I have been since November (when I quit my job of eight years.) It feels like a pull between screwing my retirement and present independence for their home life stability. I actually have no problem with that at this point, I signed up for this mom job. It is just stopping me from moving forward. I want off the ex-husband gravy train. I spent many years paying to have other people help raise my kids at a preschool or after school program. It did some good things when they were excellent loving people and taught us all positive discipline and alternative ways of bringing up kids, but it was also crappy when they were unhappy gals in dead-end jobs that weren't particularly fond of small people. I see-saw alot on this topic.

Bullying on the Baseball Field

Wilder is on the local little league team. Most of the other team kids are smaller/younger than him and he recently went and sang at their elementary school in choir. At the last game he had to endure razzing about how he 'sings like a girl.' And he was pissed. They also do 'cup checks' which he doesn't like (I'm not sure anyone would like that.) They fight, swear and push. He still is loving baseball, but beginning to dislike his teammates. I heard stories from Wilder's dad a long time ago about his experiences on the Little League team of bullying. He didn't play after one season because of it. I feel a mantle of mother bear coming over me, where I want to rise up and defend with very sharp words. But there is another side of me that realizes this is being a boy, at least in this community, and Wilder has to learn to handle it somehow. The loud, rude, bullish building a little boy facade of fearlessness that will turn into a man facade of fearlessness. Key word is facade, it will be covering little boys fears and rage. My job is to make sure Wilder is safe, and that he does not ever have to wear that facade as a man. Funny to say, since being female really I have no idea some of the issues he will face, but being his mom I know that I need to do my best. Raising these babies is not always easy. Sometimes it is a dance, and I don't always get the steps right. Rose sat down with me last night across the dining room table and we had one of those conversations you only have with a teenager. As in, what you are not saying is more important than what you are saying. THAT is a tough conversation to have, I am not always smart enough to keep track of exactly what we are saying vs. not saying.

When your camera is taken over by an 11 year old

I went to my trusty Pentax to get some before and after photos of the (wicked old) and (lovely new) horse fence. What I found was about 200 photos of legos. Wilder mentioned he wanted to use my camera for some stop-action storylines of his sets - I just didn't think it would be such a prolific number. The blurriness could add action to the story... or... it is hard for him to hold a big camera, a bunch of lego dudes and then press the shutter button. He really needs to find his own camera again!

The season of driving

My son has started baseball season. Rose is doing piano and art, and finishing up drivers education. That means every flipping day except for Wednesdays.... I am in the car with one or two kids taking them somewhere in the 4:30- 7:30 range. It is not as bad as Seattle, since there is no traffic to sit in, and stoplights I can count on one hand. It is just a lot of driving. I want my car to last to 200,000 miles before it is replaced, so am keeping an eye on the accumulating miles.
This commuting blows the sit down dinner to hell. Unless we go out to dinner, and that plays havoc with Dave Ramsey's envelope budgeting system (since I am still working out the kinks within our monthly budget.) An upside is there is driving bonding/talking/sharing from the kids trapped in the car with me....

Financial Peace according to Dave Ramsey

When I first started this blog (or more accurately, when Rose signed me up for a blog) I had no idea there was this whole bloggy world out there. In the beginning I spent a lot of time searching other blogs to see what was going on,what is this blogging. I think Rose mostly signed me up so she would not have to listen to all my stories.

There is a funny midwest gal - www.coalcreekfarm.com - that I found when following the links from a house restoration blog. On her site she had a corner about managing finances, how they were doing it. She talked of going to this financial peace university with her husband, and called the guy that did it Damn Ramsey. There is no Damn Ramsey when you google, but there is a Dave Ramsey. I visited the website, and got a couple cd's off of ebay of him talking. This month I signed up for one of his local classes (he is not there, they are usually facilitated by churches.)It is only the cost of the books for the class. I bought mine off ebay for 40, you can get them through the church or website for around $100. You go watch a video for an hour, then discuss for an hour. These classes are all over. It is a great thing for couples, and would have been helpful for Dennis and I at any point in our marriage. Budgets, retirement, debt, basic how to manage money presented in an empowering easy to digest entertaining manner. The energy is high, the people are kind, and boy, do people get in financial hot water. I am lucky that at this point we have no debt other than the house I am sitting in, but that was not always the case. I am taking the class so I don't ever live in debt again, especially since my income is going to take such a hit when the divorce papers are signed. Rose and I were talking about a Toyota Highlander commercial that she likes, and I do not. It is a young kid telling his ma, and his carpool ma, what a cool car the Highlander is, and how it fits him since he is cool. And their old minivan is not cool. It makes wanting something for how it looks legit in a kids eyes. I am trying to teach the kids want vs. need. It is a challenge.

PT or Port Townsend Fort Worden

We took a trip up to Fort Worden for a game of nerf wars. It was a moment of dry skies. Someone who is taking drivers education got to get behind the wheel for a bit while the boys climbed. Normally she drives with her eyes open and hands on the steering wheel.

Boys and girls

Sometimes I wonder how I would view having children if I would have had a boy first. Having Rose first led me down this path of girl behaviors which I did not know they were specifically girl behaviors until Wilder was born. I (crazily) thought all kids were like Rose and her friends. I am an only child, so I realize my view of the world is a bit skewed.... or very skewed.
Right now I am sitting in my bedroom which is under my sons room. He had a good buddy spend the night and this morning my house is literally vibrating from them wrestling and tussling from one end of the house to the other. I had no idea a house could make so much noise and still be standing.

Movie ratings are screwed up in our country

There is something completely hooey in our rating system. Case in point : went to the Green Hornet two weeks ago. Rated PG-13. Went to the King's Speech tonight. Rated R.
Walked out of the Green Hornet thinking there was a WHOLE lotta violence in smooshed human carnage. No blood splatters, but you see people get smashed and killed. It is somewhat presented as a kids movie, and I saw it with our son and a friend of his. I actually covered their eyes at a part. (they were nonplussed about the whole thing, and humored me)
The King's Speech R rating? Well I imagine it was because he says the word fuck and shit when overcoming his speech impediment. That was it. No skin, no violence other than raised voices.
PG-13? Multiple deaths. Shooting. Sex (implied, not shown). Scantily clad babes moving to the beat and drinkin' alcohol. Drug selling. Hitting. Guns. A gang attacking a woman.
Here is where I get all crazy talkin'.
Why is it okay for our children to become immune or at least comfortable with watching violent acts -- something that they may not ever see or be a part of in their "real life" -- but sexual material and language are taboo? Sex which is vital for our species, and bad language which pretty much everyone will be exposed to in their lifetime...
WTF? Makes me really cranky. I read somewhere that our movies become more violent in times of war. To keep our adrenaline up? To keep us on the aggressive?
As an aside. I loved both movies. The GreenHornet was tapping into my old crazy love of cars. The car is genius. Had a bit of chitty chitty bang bang coupled with the batmobile.
Rose went with me to the Kings Speech. Boy, did she ever NOT want to go. But she was surprised, and loved it. Mr. Firth rocks.

Parenting - Letting Go

Rose had a sleepover before the school dance last weekend. She and her friend came bounding down the stairs...all chipper and happy. They were going to dye Rose's friends hair, could they dye Rose's too?
This has been simmering a long time. The kids "nowadays" (love saying that, makes me feel like such an old codger) change their hair color with the cycles of the moon. Rose has been asking me to color her hair. I know I have a non-neutral eye, but her hair color has always been lovely to me so I always deferred.
But I knew something like this was coming. And, after repeatedly giving her all the dire warnings, and then letting her hear it in a phone call with gal pal professional hair colorist extraordinaire, she chose to dye her hair. The goal was blond top, black underneath. And friend's hair was black top, blond underneath. I was cringing inside. But you know what? This sort of stuff has to happen. We can rant and ramble and lecture and 'model' behavior, but there are just some things that kids need to figure out on their own. It is not always the same thing... my daughter happened to have hair coloring as her venture out of the safety net this time.
I did not say no. I told her possible consequences, and that I would kill them both if they got dye on my new bathroom floor... and then let 'em go.
The color turned out orange in spots, bleach bottle blond in a circle on the top and uneven. She was a bit traumatized. But not in a bad way.
When her friend had fallen asleep under her own black-purple new hair, Rose came back downstairs. "Why weren't you a strict mom and absolutely forbid me from doing this if you knew it was going to be turn out orange and splotchy?" We talked about learning things for yourself vs. hearing something over and over again and it not making sense. We talked about choices. It is hard for me to let them figure stuff out on their own, when there are unpleasant consequences. This was a very very gentle consequence, one that was traumatic (for a dramatic teen), but not permanent nor dangerous.
The next day we got a brown hair dye. That night, they went to the dance and had a great time.

Driver's Education

We went to drivers education orientation for Rose. Last night, I had a dream she was driving a jumbo jet cross-country. With instructions on how to fly from the air traffic control tower. Coincidence? I think not.