Thinking of far off things

I have been in shock with the devastation of Japan. I actually watched the footage of the tsunami destruction and felt awful, and powerless, as nature has the ability to do to us wee humans. I did not watch the planes of 9/11, Haiti destruction, Indonesia tsunami, or bombings humans have done globally. That does not mean I did not read about it, or know about it, it means I don't want to get used to bearing witness to that violence. I want to maintain my horror that there are things that can go terribly wrong, and feel that horror. I don't want to sit in front of a monitor and watch this sort of thing unfold like I am watching an exciting movie. To me, it feels like I am knitting and watching the guillotine during the French Revolution. It is not entertainment. I know we have a grisly gene in us... the same one that causes us to slow at car crashes and look. I wish I could go back and not watch this. Somehow to me it is so wrong to be present and above watching that tsunami flow fast and deep over the coastal communities, knowing there were people in those cars that were trying to turn around in front of the oncoming water, and they did not know which way to go. But we, sitting at our computers, could see which road was clear and which way to go. And them making the wrong choice, or sitting while the water engulfed them. I imagine the helicopter pilots are in a world of mental crap seeing people, houses, animals, lives being engulfed while they float above with engine running, narrating. Or cursing, praying.
My temperament is to want to go in and fix things. That is not possible. My thoughts and prayers are being sent across the Pacific to Japan. I see why the ancient civilizations around the world all had a God of the Sea... that wall of water was otherworldly when rising off the ocean to tower over ground level. If we didn't have seismographs and underwater geology to explain what happened I would think this was one of those crazy gods really pissed off. Thank you, everyone, for science.
And I fully realize I am not the norm in terms of viewing our culture. It is just my skewed opinion... don't get your pants in a bunch if you watch all sorts of stuff that I can't stand. It is not a judgement, although when I reread it sounds like one. I am just trying to let go some of the wild sadness I have over this.
Image: Nasa Terra Satellite image of the east coast of Japan, with tsunami damage visible. FOR EDITORIAL USE ONLY. NOT FOR SALE FOR MARKETING OR ADVERTISING CAMPAIGNS.