A New Year - and women getting balls.

We went to Michigan for the holidays.  My family is outside of Detroit - in Royal Oak and Saline. Besides the obvious joyful benefit of visiting family - I don't to see on their home turf very often - we ate amazing food, had a white christmas (yay!) and took it easy. It is difficult to leave the farm,  I hired three people to keep an eye on things - one took the dog, one cared for the horses, and one housesat the chickens, cats and guinea pigs.
 I love visiting Michigan because houses like mine are EVERYWHERE.  Not so in the Seattle area.  And speaking of my house:  Oh man oh man oh man you have to see what I have been up to. Next post.
But first, because I have not been on here in a while...I will do a bit of venting action.  Because that is what drives visitation to a blog. Complaining!  (I am totally joking here, it is not advised to be negative...but I am nothing if not contrary!)
1. I have a beautiful 17 year old daughter.  It is endlessly unmercifully disgusting to me when men older than I ogle her. And when I say ogle, I mean leer and hit on her.  I want to walk up and say something about their daughters and granddaughters, would they like a man approaching their child the way they are approaching Rose?  
2. I am 48.   I am not in high school.  Women, this is a lecture for you.  If your husband/boyfriend/date is hitting on another woman in front of your face, you need to get pissed at the man involved.  Not the woman. If your man has children with other women and that bothers you, you need to get mad at him for lying and seducing other women, not the other mothers. (This is what I saw when I was a social worker--women physically fighting in front of their kids because they had children by the same man.)  If you don't have the chutzpah to stand up for yourself and tell off your man you need therapy or not to date for a while.... and definitely try not to have kids.   Oh, and you need to have the confidence to realize your partner talking to a female in a crowded room is not a threat to your relationship.   If it is, the above applies again.
I have said this before, and I am sure this is not my last discussion of this topic.  The story: I went out with friends to hear a great blues band.  Knew two of the women there, both had new boyfriends.  Immediately one of the boyfriends began a very outgoing, animated, flirty conversation with me, while I answered to both members of the couple, wanting to include his girlfriend, because it was uncomfortable. I started talking to the women across the table and ignoring him. For the record, the couple was tipsy, and this being Washington state, maybe a bit stoned.  Not sure on that, but there was some sort of inebriation going on.   The woman withdrew more and more, and eventually made out with her man AT THE DINNER TABLE, and then looked over at me.  When she was on the dance floor, she would look over at me and then grope her man. Blech.  Meanwhile, he is trying to catch my eye.  Point one is she is dating a dog of a man. Point two is by the end of the eve she couldn't even make eye contact or talk to me.
 See? I feel much better now.  That stuff happens and it is so frustrating. Oh and this for the men.  If you talk a single woman when your wife or partner is not present... you are not getting away with anything, We are not swooning over you, whether you have a potbelly or abs, age 20 -70.  I personally would never in a kajillion years, freezing hell conditions, melted polar icecaps, zombie apocalypse, have anything to do with an attached man.  That is not really a trust-builder, not the sort of thing to build a solid relationship on.

 I am serious, I am printing up a t-shirt that says:
 Yes, I am friendly.  I am SO NOT FLIRTING with you.
 I speak the same way to men, women,
          and small mammals.

Pissed Seattle Driving - Ranting Post

Not pissed like drunk, pissed like I get around inattentive unfocused illegal drivers such as those I drove with in Seattle for two hours.
Arghh. Any nostalgia I had for missing Seattle and it's amazing stores filled with junk I don't need, but boy, is it fun to look at; my old breakfast haunt Vera's in Ballard that I have been going to for 26 years and ordering the same thing all that time(it is not even on the menu anymore); or the hyper-eco bicycle backpack wearin' grannies standing in line in front of me at the coffee shop with their 'put-a-bird-on-it' wallets.... all these lovely Seattle moments have been obliterated by flippin' holier than thou must drive under the speed limit in all four lanes of the freeway cars. People! Move your damn car over one rippin' lane. I swear to god you will not be any less of a man, or woman, or whatever to get your car out of the fast lane when you are going 54 mph. I really promise. I think people who drive in the appropriate lane for their speed are HOT. I don't even care that you drive under the speed limit (well, most of the time) if you are in the furthest right lane for your rate of travel. Did you all even read the driver's education book? This may be one of those posts I should count to ten before posting... nah.
Question for Seattle : What the heck are you doing with traffic and your roads? I drove around through Tacoma to get to Seattle this morn, usually a leisurely hour and a half drive which was right on time until I hit Seatac... then the freeway stopped. No problem, I bounced over the highway 99 to take the back way. Absolutely stopped. No problem, I will get off of 99 and go along the waterfront. Stopped dead, me and about 30 semi-tractor trailers that were also not happy. Then, the waterfront road is closed, and we all get back on 99 (except for those semi's who were picking up loads on the waterfront) Geez Louwheezie, it was dadblame impossible to get into the city today. It took me 2.5 hours. I am going to kiss my front door when I get home. Land of quiet and low density and horses and yard that needs weeding. I can also tell my personality is beginning to match my county. I want my calm two lane roads again. Where traffic is (shock) 11 cars waiting for a light to turn. Pic: The only traffic in my neighborhood, the wait for the Sunday ferry back to Seattle. Which actually, looking at this, is a bit daunting and why if I ever have to go to Seattle Sunday afternoon I take the Bremerton or Bainbridge ferry.

Seattle story - "Getting in Touch with Nature"

Every day that I work, (all of three days a week) I go to Metropolitan Market in West Seattle to pickup lunch, dinner, or goodies for our volunteers.
I usually walk around in my own little bubble, as Seattlelites are prone to do, but today I stepped out of my bubble to poke at someone elses bubble.
While waiting in the coffee line for tea and to purchase a lovely tomato plant (one can never grow too many tomatoes it seems in May and June, UNTIL those tomatoes start ripening, and then I wonder what the heck I was thinkin' and start pawning them off on strangers...)
anyway, on topic....waiting in line. The fellow in front of me was talking to coffee gal, and saying he had been communing with nature. That he was getting in touch with nature by going to Green Lake and walking.
Let's visit Green Lake, shall we?
When he was saying how good he felt being out of doors in nature, I could not help but let out one of those nostril blows that is somewhat snortish. He turned around, and said, "you don't like green lake?" I told him I did not really think Green Lake was nature. (man-made lake, giant paved trail around it, that is packed on weekends, surrounded by a busy road on three sides and a highway on the other, and fringed with houses) As is usual when I blurt out these blunt-ish statements, he got a bit ruffled. If he would have been HONEST and said " I went to Green Lake to check out the babes" or some such, I would not have snorted. So sad that Seattle residents are beginning to think a paved trail and lawn is nature. You plant housing and condos like trees, and look what happens. People lose touch with greenspace. Used to be a goal of Seattle... now it is just "build-me-up-baby...make-mine-multi-use-housing-please"
I guess that is what balconies and lanais are for. Plants.

Whirlwind of Anger and Bad Parenting

Today is the first Easter in my life spent alone. Yes, yes, I suppose I am feeling sorry for myself. I am still at heart a spoiled only child. And therefore, what did I do when the kids arrived this evening from their weekend at dads? Called their father to the carpet for not even registering it was Easter (still a big deal at my house) the importance of his involvement with his son, and my extreme desire not to have to tell him these things since I am not in that wife role any longer. Then I moved on to our son, who was procrastinating about school work. Then I nailed Rose about her brothers hair. (can you see this is starting to become non-sensical anger?)
Rose came downstairs after the lights were out to have a heart to heart with me about how inappropriate and mean what I said was. And that she thought I should apologize. And she was right. When I think about what I said it makes me cringe. So not like me, but so very like me to attack in that manner when I feel like crap. I apologized. And she shed her traditional "tears of frustration" at me. Funny when a 14 year old can switch maturity level with a 45 year old.
Then to top off the evening I sent a volatile email off to a good friend that the timing is very inconvenient for her stress levels. Or mine for that matter. I suppose that is another post.
At age 45 I have finally figured out that when I am angry, it is actually fear. That is so difficult for me to claim, since I would always define myself as fearless. Cautious yes, but fear, no. But fear is very present when I roll into this sort of erratic nastiness. So I suppose my next 45 years will be finding out where this fear comes from and how to not make those I love miserable when I am threatened. Sigh. Well, that does give me some time....

Pro-crass-tiny-nation

Photo: Port Gamble

I think I type on here when I am procrastinating. And I am procrastinating.

Today action list. I write these every once in a while so when I am feeling like I am not getting anything done, I can review, and then remember I do get stuff done and to give myself a ripping break.

1. Picked up horse blanket.

2. Dropped off check to bank.

3. Bought new flour and yeast for sourdough making.

4. Pet cat.

5. Called vet for Bey (horse) who tried to colic.

6. Pet dog.

7. Checked on new guinea pig, Flambe.

8. Walked Bey.

9. Blanketed Bey.

10. Warmed water for Bey.

11. Bribed Bey to eat medicine with horse cookies. It did not work.

12. Yelled at Rose for thinking a "c" grade is just fine since it is average. (Don't talk to me about this, I am having be perfect/ be imperfect mother/daughter issues and realize it)

13. Yelled at Wilder for somethingerother. Probably having to do with his homework.

14. Quabbled about my flood bill with the water sucker-upper company. I am doing amazingly well with my terminology this evening.

15. Paid bills.

16. Swept leaves. Dumped 7 loads onto the compost, and still have more leaves. Damn big trees.

17. Plugged generator charger into outlet. 'Tis the season for power outages.

18. Bought things Glittergirl asked me to for her.

19. Had a phone meeting on Non-Profit Facilities while sitting in my car on the side of the road.

20. Caulked windows on south side with nasty toxic smelling clear caulk.

21. Frowned.

Usually these lists make me feel better, this one did not. Criminy, is it the weather? I am a huge grump today.

I think I hear a pirate ship of legos rolling across the floor upstairs. I need to go make someone walk the plank back to bed. Pray for their 10 year old boy soul, will ya?