Procrastination List

I haven't done one of these lists in a while, and as I sit here with my coffee, I can tell I am procrastinating.
All because what is on my list for today is to Clean. As in Clean my House. I have people coming over all weekend, so I am to make my house have no animal hair in the corners, make sure the newspapers (only cartoons from the kids) are not stacked next to the toilet, on the back on the couch, behind the couch, under their beds, and then maybe try not to stack my stupid paperwork. So in honor of all things organized, I am drafting a to-do list:
1. Clean floors. God, I hate to clean floors. I use the height excuse, I am 6' tall so the floors are realllllly far away and hard for me to see, let alone clean. And I know that is a lame excuse.
2. Finish stupid detail painting around doors. The problem with painting in the evening hours is maybe you can't see what you are painting and need to do touch-ups.
3. Clean out laundry room. For some reason our laundry room is the dump zone for saddles, garden seeds and gloves, horse medicine, baseball mitts, clean and dirty clothes - hopefully all separate from each other.
4. Cook prep for this weekends BBQ. This is actually the only fun thing on here. Except afterwards I would have to....
5. Clean the kitchen. What is it with white cupboards? I can wipe them down and then no joke, within 30 minutes there is coffee/butter/dog drool/honey dripped down a side of them or at least a droplet somewhere on their formerly pristine surface.
4. Deal with Wilder's baseball team. Figure out if I want to go for their jugular or let Wilder pull out of this team with minimal fuss. I am having a really hard time and vascillating between motherclaws extended defense of my son who is being bullied and the coaches (I keep typing couches) do nothing or just letting my son back out quietly and making damn sure he is on a team next year that understands the concept of TEAM- teamwork, sportsmanship, grace.... I don't really want the last memory of his 11 year old boy baseball career in Little League to be his mom going all ballistic.
This seems to be the age that alot of boys have very ugly memories of sports, it does not matter if they exceled or not at a sport. There is some boy pecking order that has to occur that some kids can handle, and right now, our youngster cannot. It kills me to see that, so I am trying to maintain a professional coolness to a very hot topic for me.
5. Finish the haphazard daughter mowing. I swear she drives our mower like she is racing, and sometimes that does not lend itself to a lovely mow job so I go behind and do the fine edging work at a slower speed.
6. Dust.
7. Move Christmas train and bag of ornaments downstairs to storage. I don't even want to talk about this, how when I was moving pictures in the living room last night I found it all still sitting next to the piano. Embarassing.

General news: newly wedded gal and hub are going on their honeymoon to Ireland and Italy. My mom is in town for the kids birthdays from Michigan, she wisked the kids to Sequim today for a daytrip so I could... what? Clean? ha.
I am going to docent volunteer at a local lighthouse. A very enthused bunch, which is cool to see. Lighthouses always happen to be in lovely areas, I am looking forward to learning about ships, boats, dinghys and other floating things. Have applied for two whole jobs! So exciting. I don't think I really know how to do this job hunt thing. I am wondering if I ever did? Will keep you posted.

Bullying on the Baseball Field

Wilder is on the local little league team. Most of the other team kids are smaller/younger than him and he recently went and sang at their elementary school in choir. At the last game he had to endure razzing about how he 'sings like a girl.' And he was pissed. They also do 'cup checks' which he doesn't like (I'm not sure anyone would like that.) They fight, swear and push. He still is loving baseball, but beginning to dislike his teammates. I heard stories from Wilder's dad a long time ago about his experiences on the Little League team of bullying. He didn't play after one season because of it. I feel a mantle of mother bear coming over me, where I want to rise up and defend with very sharp words. But there is another side of me that realizes this is being a boy, at least in this community, and Wilder has to learn to handle it somehow. The loud, rude, bullish building a little boy facade of fearlessness that will turn into a man facade of fearlessness. Key word is facade, it will be covering little boys fears and rage. My job is to make sure Wilder is safe, and that he does not ever have to wear that facade as a man. Funny to say, since being female really I have no idea some of the issues he will face, but being his mom I know that I need to do my best. Raising these babies is not always easy. Sometimes it is a dance, and I don't always get the steps right. Rose sat down with me last night across the dining room table and we had one of those conversations you only have with a teenager. As in, what you are not saying is more important than what you are saying. THAT is a tough conversation to have, I am not always smart enough to keep track of exactly what we are saying vs. not saying.

Baseball - Part II - Or, reliving the terror of your youth

Now that I have been a parent for a few years (okay... technically 14) I notice I look differently at how I was raised. And, I have noticed that as parents, we don't always make the right choice, sometimes we operate on auto pilot, or relive some childhood trauma, or some youthful slight, or just force our kids into doing things that we wanted to do as kids, but did not get a chance. Of course, when I type this I am not talking about myself... just OTHER parents. ha. Remember my story of Wilder joining the baseball team? Well I had a moment of slapping my brain right back 33 years and it was not a good thing.
When I was an urchin, I had a workin' professional ma. So if I did after school sports, she was not a parent on the sidelines. As a child, I was tall, gawky, skinny, with an overbite. This was in the 70's before the school curriculum on bullying. I, like every kid of my era, received bullying, nasty names, etc etc. That was just par for the course. Most of us survived, but I notice I have a very strong defense mechanism for the underdog instilled in my genes. I attribute that to being the underdog at some point, and knowing how it feels.
So Wilder's first game. As we walk up to the field, both teams on the field in their team colors, groups of parents on the sidelines, I was thrust back instantly to my childhood and the uncomfortable feeling of organized sports. I am all flipping out (inside) and Wilder runs off to join his team. He knows no one. But, after about 7 minutes, Wilder being Wilder, he knows everyone, has filled me in on who is 'mean' and who is 'cool' and is sitting on the bench surrounded by his new teammates. This kid is SO not me as a child, and I thankfully, am also so not me as a child, as I blather at all the surrounding parents.
I just walked up, into and out of a childhood fear, and came out fine with the help of a great son. So strange how those sort of things can pop up at you.

Kids - Stealing Cheese Crackers

Wilder came home very upset the other day. He told me a new classmate had stolen his cheese crackers that he packed for snack that morning. These are not just basic cheese crackers, my son would DIE for these. They are Cheez-its Duoz-- cheddar and parmesan and he loves cheese. Anything cheese. If I want him to eat something I just put cheese on it. Anyway, he plopped in the car after school ferocious and grumpy. Like he saved it for me! the affront would have happened about 6 hours before I picked him up. Lucky ma, am I, that he saves his grumps for me. We talked a bit, and I asked why he thought this young fella was the guilty one. He said it was because he was "mean. " Knowing that it has taken Wilder a good three months to get a playdate goin' this is not a particularly outgoing school. This new boy has only been present a week and may not have any friends yet. Wilder assured me that he did, and, that he himself was one of them! (Boys~~) I mentioned that sometimes kids are "mean" to defend themselves... if they are unsure, or fearful, or maybe that is all they saw modeled at home.
Wilder came home today and said that he asked this new boy why he was mean. The fellow answered that the kids here were very mean to him. And then he told Wilder that he moved here from California and is in foster care.
There are many reasons that people are unreasonable, rude, or 'mean'. They may just be unreasonable, rude and mean people, or there may be a reason that is not readily apparent.
Sometimes it pays to extend that graciousness to those that you misunderstand.

Key Things and new Neighborhoods

Here it is an amazingly beautiful day. The snow is heavy on the trees, the sun is trying to peek through. Maybe this will be a forced dramatic pruning of our many fruit trees. The poor things have not been pruned in a while. I say that is jest, I don't want the branches to be breaking off those giants. The birds are getting fed chicken feed, since I ran out of birdseed. They don't seem to mind. It is better than bread. My house is a mess, I feel like we will never quite move-in. The garbage and recycle have not been picked up in two weeks, my garage is the waiting room for all the extra. I am such a well-trained recycler I could not even imagine throwing away a piece of paper. Neighbors and I would joke that when we went camping or traveling to somewhere that did not recycle, we would pack and take home our recycling. That is just crazy to me. But, we do it. What a strange and non-reckless life we lead here in the NW. When going against the grain is (HORROR) not recycling. I should not make light of this, our little neighborhood friend told us where the meth house used to be and what boys beat up what other boys. It has been such a long time, and I have been so citified(cityfied?) the thought of boys beating each other up seems antiquated. Where is that bully curriculum when you need it? I am thinkin' these kids missed that crucial lesson, or their parents believe otherwise. The meth house is another thing altogether. That is an issue that our society will be dealing with for a long time. It can absolutely destroy people.