Search This Blog

blueshoefarm at gmail dot com.... and that would be how to reach me

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Divorce Prep

I don't know how people do this. Besides a low level of anxiety I am having over everything under the sun... getting together the budgets, the savings, the house info, how to split things, who gets the tax write off on the kids, when the kids are at who's house when, and then formalizing it all with the State of Washington is daunting. Especially when I feel like it is all on my plate.
Since Dennis' family health insurance rocks bigtime, I have been doing all the things I procrastinated on before the separation. Some were unavoidable... such as the surgery I was supposed to be having for the last 5 years, or the glasses I can no longer put off getting (my great eyesight has turned into blurry distant mush.) It should be noted that at yesterdays general checkup, for the first time in the history of me getting my blood drawn, I have too much iron in my blood. This has never happened and let me tell ya, it is night and day difference for living.

Have went to a financial advisor to assist with cost of living issues (budget!), looking at schools for Wilder, getting Rose through driver's ed, dealing with her (and my) fluctuating mood rollercoasters, and standard stuff of getting them to dentist appts, playdates, piano class, all the while keeping those doors open for communication about all the crappy, mundane and joyful things they have to deal with at their age.
Michael and I both did budgets. In his, there is no cost associated with the kids. It is all his life costs only. He has no problem paying for all the things they participate in, or need for school, he just doesn't reflect that in what he considers his budget. When I was talking with our financial advisor and telling her about how we are going about the divorce process (amicably)... she asked ... "Why on earth are you getting a divorce??" It did not strike her that we battled enough for this. From the outside, most people think Michael and I get along too well for divorce. We don't throw things, we don't badmouth each other in front of the kids, he funds anything and everything that I want to do with and for the kids. They are also not realizing that at this point I am a "kept woman." Without Michael's income, I would not be living the life I am. Kept women generally have to be cordial. I worry when I get a divorce I will then turn nasty. How long can you keep anger going? I will let you know.

No comments:

Related Posts with Thumbnails