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blueshoefarm at gmail dot com.... and that would be how to reach me

Thursday, October 13, 2011

An Unorganized Mind

This may be one of those things I try to blame on the stroke, but truly, I have always been this way. I have things to do. They swirl around in my mind in no particular order of importance... picking up storage shelving and toilet paper is right next to come up with a study plan for Wilder for French and visit colleges with Rose and replace my leaking house window and trimming my fingernails. When I was younger I think I loaded up with coffee and rapidly spooled through the list and got things done. I cannot operate like that anymore. Is it a blessing or a curse that all my friends have a organization gene I am missing? I have started making some beautiful lists. It is the only way I can operate. I think my house is a great assistance to healing. As in, "I can't keel over dead from a stroke, I still haven't attached the front door spring and no one knows where it is" or "the locks for the horse trailer stalls are downstairs in the paint bucket, no one would find that". Ah yes, the little details that keep me going. I am queuing up finishing the upstairs bathroom and Wilder's room... that is definitely keeping me lively. I still negotiate daily with fear (an uncommon feeling for me) anxiety (the uncontrollable consequence of facing mortality) and resigning myself to a life with drugs (statins, blood pressure, aspirin) I am not a person that is fond of pharmaceutical solutions. But I guess if it helps keep me clot-free, I will resign myself and participate.
OH, and if any of you need a soaking tub, I am giving it away for free on Craigslist!

1 comment:

Karen Anne said...

I have the same swirling mental list of stuff to do. Without lists that I organize by priority, I would sink.

Have you looked at relaxation breathing? I find that very helpful. I almost go into it automatically now when I stress out.

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