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blueshoefarm at gmail dot com.... and that would be how to reach me

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Bullying on the Baseball Field

Wilder is on the local little league team. Most of the other team kids are smaller/younger than him and he recently went and sang at their elementary school in choir. At the last game he had to endure razzing about how he 'sings like a girl.' And he was pissed. They also do 'cup checks' which he doesn't like (I'm not sure anyone would like that.) They fight, swear and push. He still is loving baseball, but beginning to dislike his teammates. I heard stories from Wilder's dad a long time ago about his experiences on the Little League team of bullying. He didn't play after one season because of it. I feel a mantle of mother bear coming over me, where I want to rise up and defend with very sharp words. But there is another side of me that realizes this is being a boy, at least in this community, and Wilder has to learn to handle it somehow. The loud, rude, bullish building a little boy facade of fearlessness that will turn into a man facade of fearlessness. Key word is facade, it will be covering little boys fears and rage. My job is to make sure Wilder is safe, and that he does not ever have to wear that facade as a man. Funny to say, since being female really I have no idea some of the issues he will face, but being his mom I know that I need to do my best. Raising these babies is not always easy. Sometimes it is a dance, and I don't always get the steps right. Rose sat down with me last night across the dining room table and we had one of those conversations you only have with a teenager. As in, what you are not saying is more important than what you are saying. THAT is a tough conversation to have, I am not always smart enough to keep track of exactly what we are saying vs. not saying.

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