No Complaint Day

Photos: Top:I know the reason this grows on my trees is because the spores of the forest that once stood here 100 years ago still live in the area. Bottom: The trillium are blooming, or they were when I took this pic three weeks ago.

I have no complaints today. Just thought that would drop in a bit of fresh air. I probably shouldn't type anymore, because I will roll into some sort of whine about something. This Sunday in Kitsap County...

my old cat snores,

it was close to 70 degrees,

I sat in a chair outside "doing work due tomorrow" so slowly...,

had a great dinner with the kids made by the soon to-be-ex at his clean place, not my messy place in honor of mother's day,

had nice things said to me by our 14 year old, (who is almost as tall as her dad!)

had sunflowers in a pot given to me by our 10 year old son, (who is under the weather)

and I got stuck behind Bainbridge drivers who drive so retardedly (I know, not a word) slow like 10-15 miles below the speed limit that I almost expressed myself potty-mouth linguistically all the way across that godforsaken island. If I ever live on Bainbridge, you will know I am either a)on serious medication and not aware of my surroundings b)had a brain hemmorhage or traumatic head injury and so again "am not aware of my surroundings or c) I have lived through menopause but with a complete reversal of my personality and hormonal drives and come out the other side a middle-class housewife with an audi, timeshare in Hawaii, white carpets and furniture, botox injections, and a new husband who uses more facial products than I do. Happy days.

Did I mention the father of my beloved children live on Bainbridge? And he loves it?

And that little diatribe is not complaining. Or whining.

Note to readers: (also called the Seattle Disclaimer) The above is only my version of hell. I have never lived with white furniture and will probably not ever be attracted to a metrosexual man, this does not mean that audis or Hawaiian timeshares are evil. (Although... they aren't in the BIBLE) I digress. Damn, those bible teachings are thrilling! I digress again. I love you all. If you embrace the middle class ways as I have been taught to do, such as the experienced joy at a fresh mowed lawn or a fine cup of coffee made by an impertinent coffee puller (oops, I mean barista) it is all good. Marriage is good, homogeneity (?) is fine. Heck, we can even be friends if you live on Bainbridge. But it will be so very hard for me if you drive 15 miles under the speed limit on the highway. But I can do it. I live for the thrill of a good challenge. And my retard comment should have been the 70's 80's version where you drag out the REEEtard. Remember? If you are too young for that reference, or too old, then we can go with "mentally challenged" instead. See, you can take the girl out of Seattle, but not the Seattle PC out of the girl.

Habitat for Humanity - how to put up siding sexily

Quick post.
1. Went for my first session of "how to build a house" so I can volunteer. Actually, just want to have those basic skills, practice them in a safe supervised environment, and then help build a house!
2. This is a specific class "Women Build" , all gals, I guess so we don't get all quiet and female-y around the "take-charge" men.
3. When I went to check in, the front desk gal at Lowes, where the class was being held told me I was early and I should go "look at some pretty flowers" while waiting.
4. The fellow leading the class asked me how old I was in the 80's to use as an example of black mold. (I guarantee my age has nothing to do with the prevalence of black mold in modern housing)
5. I can't stand any of that shit. How old am I? Go look at flowers? Argh.

Gardening weekend

Once I worked (slept) through my first ever two-day migraine I have ever had I bounded out of bed (dizzily, caffeine-bereft) and went outside. It was momentarily not raining, so I decided to hell with the broken lawn tractor....I would hire someone to mow the lawn. It makes me crazy not to have the lawn mowed. It is not like it can get so long anyway, I don't water it in the summer, and let the horses at it spring and fall when it rains. But it is an uneven field of weeds, sprouts, mosses, a few grasses and volunteer onions (no idea why those are there).
Looked on craigslist...picked up the phone. Within an hour two guys came over. One hour after that I am in mowed lawn bliss. See, big headaches are great for some things. I really appreciated such a simple act. And then I planted. And planted, and planted. A new peach tree, and a pear. Two roses. Shade and sun perennials. Two pots worth of annuals. All my lilies and plants I divided and took from our old Seattle house. I may be cursing myself in a couple weeks when I have to weed the six new beds I created... but right now I am loving it.
For mothers day when I was living the standard family life, I always asked for an undisturbed day of gardening. If only I could get paid to putter in my yard. And avoid the house and all its demands to be cleaned and organized....maybe I could just camp outside. I will work on that goal.

Modified To-Do List

This is just to get it out of my head.
1. Leave for weekend trip. Get food for crew.
2. Leave note for kid dad, animal maintenance staffperson in our absence.
3. Call bridal mother.
4. Finalize details for bridal shower.
5. Maintain positive and forward thinking attitude. Even in the depths of todo list hell.
6. Drink water.
7. Find out what "noxious dangerous toxic" thing happened near our house in the last 100 years alluded to by neighbor.
8. Get brakes done on van.
9. Clean out mystery spills in van.
10. Clean out van in general.
11. Do nightly yoga with daughter. And speedwalking around road.
12. Figure out 'take care of ma' week in Michigan.
13. strip bathroom. Or ask kid dad to do it this weekend! yeah. like that idea.
14. Fix barn horses tore off front of. Brutes.
15. Pet horses. Groom horses.
16. Chase dog around yard.
17. Start up Sunday night baseball games.
18. Make cursed doctors appts.
19. Including cursed dentist.
20. Write report for work.
21. Sleep.
22. Daydream.
23. Drink coffee.
24. Enjoy baked goods in moderation.
25. Look at new school for children.
26. Talk to Rose' counselor.
27. Transfer audio system for memorial.
28. Do this all in the next 3 days.

Why This is an Anonymous Blog (of sorts)

Ran into some photographers. We began chatting. One of them lives on Bainbridge. We instantly rolled into commuter "ferrytalk." I told her I was writing about all the ferries. She asked if I was an author. I snorkled out of my nose. No, just blogging about it. She wanted to read the blog. I said it was not really public. Repeated. Then realized how absorippinglutely ridiculous that sounded. It is on the internet. Of course I am public. Just loosely anonymous.
This began as a venting action to keep my sanity when I moved for healthy reasons away from the father of my children and bought a farm. And left my cheer group behind. Oh, I mean peer group. Dang girls, anyway. So this was my way to share stories, get them out of my system. I am one who will tell a story about tripping over a piece of toilet paper, so not to be able to share those vital parts of my day with friends just about killed me. Like, I have to tell that toilet paper story, gotta get it out of the ol' system. So, hence, blog.
And no, I won't tell her where to find this blog. It is odd to think of someone who has met me, but does not know me, reading this. I am fine with anonymous readers, commenters, lurkers, since that is a different tier of 'knowing.' And actually it is cool to find random people out there that for whatever reason click on this blog and have something in common. It makes the big big world much smaller.
I have to remember I can't really know any of the bloggers I read, truly, no matter how personal I think they get. This is a written record of things we choose to write about. I think there is also a bit of professional cautiousness on my part about telling people about the blog. Since the co-ferry commuter knows "where I work." Yeah, yeah, I am a wuss.

Ferry Riding Guide - Kingston to Edmonds run

There is just so much to say about this run. It is one of my faves, except on spring and summer weekends . That line up the hill to wait for the ferry takes forever in Edmonds and the wait on the hill in Kingston also bites. Don't take this ferry on the weekend to the peninsula/rainforest/Port Townsend or Twilight land. Take the Bainbridge, which just adds 15 minutes onto the drive, and cuts off 2 hours of sitting in your car waiting to get on the ferry.

Quick and long notes: I never see security checking the Edmonds side of the commute which kinda freaks me out, why exclude Edmonds from the sniffy dogs and people in uniform? The Edmonds gate people have the most charisma that they are willing to share. Other ferry booths also have personality, but most often you see them sharing that with each other. Some at Edmonds are also hilarious. One speaks german and is sparky. One is a little droll with droopy eyes. Mostly men work these gates. Mostly women run (what I call) the motorcycle gate on the dock. On the Kingston side, the ticket sellers can alternate between surly and pleasant. It should be noted that I have also seen some of the strangest tourist behavior on this boat, so they may be reflecting the clientele of the day. At least I have never seen them pound on a car, wave their arms, yell and swear as one of the main floor leads on the Bainbridge route has done.

The ferry ride itself is the shortest cross-Sound ride. When in Edmonds, there is not much next to the dock other than a couple espresso stands and three bars. If you really have time (and you usually do not once you are in the official ferry queue) a walk up the street can lead you to some "It's an Edmonds Kind Of Day" experiences. Although, less and less is evident as Edmonds tears down anything older or smaller and replaces it with.... oh lets guess.... condos? Condos that are built in a month and look it? The clue here was when they remodeled an older OLD structure that used to be full of shops, giant beams, wood floors, kinda squirrel-y, not to be duplicated type building into what? What? Ah yes. A building like friggin' every other building. People people people.
Dang, such a good digresser, am I.
OK. On the Kingston side : visit the bakery, first old building on the left when you get off the ferry. They have parking. Pies, cookies, cupcakes, rolls, bread, everything made fresh daily by friendly bakers who also are the cashiers. And everything can be single serving to go. If you are in the mood for ice cream, head over one block to Moras for homemade and across the street at the burger place for regular. The mora girls can be snorky, the burger place can get harried. But if you are nice, they will extend themselves. The little taco place next to Mora's rocks and is a cheap healthy alternative. The creperie at the corner is a blast to watch them make the crepes.
Regular ferry rules apply: Don't set your car alarm. Don't run on the boat. Turn your music down. Don't talk on the cell phone getting on or off the ferry. Hey, I just noticed I am a very Don't/No person. I shall rephrase.
Regular ferry rules apply: Do leave your car alarm off. The motion of the ferry will set it off and you will be called over the PA. Do maintain a walking pace while shipboard. Please keep your music trapped inside your car. Leave your cellphone off on boarding or disembarking the boat when driving. Coffee is a buck if you bring your own cup. (But their coffee has taken a turn for the worse, not sure what is up with that) Let's see, for the Edmonds/Kingston run in particular, be patient with the round headed car parker ferry workerman.

This ferry usually unloads exactly as they load. As in, you will get off loosely in the order you got on. Unlike the Bainbridge/Seattle run, although I noticed they were changing that a bit. I guess those ferry captains talk or email each other about what works, and what doesn't.

Strange ferry phenomenon: When someone honks, other cars honk. Even if you have no idea what the honking is for. Like they are all a herd of geese and have no other purpose. Kinda like when our dog barks because she hears a neighbor dog bark. She has no clue what it is barking about but just wants to put in her two cents. I tell her to hush, if she does not know what everyone is barking about she should not copy. She should have her own reason for barking, and not just follow the crowd. If she was a lemming or a teenager, she would have big problems.

This Old House

Too keep myself on track, or at least remotely inspired I subscribed to several old home/restoration/farmish/do-it-youself type magazines. The spring copy of This Old House came yesterday, and in it the editor was talking about a job he had to do at a relatives house. And he described the house as ramshackle. I immediately thought "Omigod, I think I live in a ramshackle house." At least, if This Old House was to walk by, they would call it ramshackle. I think I am going to embrace that word, and make it my own.

There is a wierd feeling I get when I get home late from work, all is dark, the kids are at their dads. My house looms. It is not even very big(!) 1900 sf or so, and it literally looms above me as I walk up. It is not an ominous looming, just a presence. As in, I have stood here at this spot for a dang long time and you gotta respect that, lady.
I cannot help but think how proud the original owner who built it must have felt. It seems BIG for its era of modest Poulsbo farmhouses, and the proud feeling I have of making this a home for my family has to be nothing next to the feeling of building it 106 years ago out of nothingness on empty logged dirt.

Book News

For those of you monitoring my blood pressure and cranky levels, I sent the book text off minus the intro last week. Today, as long as the heavens allow and the ferry doesn't sink, I will be sending off all 199 images, minus five pending from another institution.

News Flash: I am in the ferry line, and the police just told someone to turn down their music. For the first time in my life of hearing overloud music, I actually really like that song and was kinda groovin'.

I did not know that was a ferry line requirement to have low volume tunes. Polite, yes, law, no. Live and learn people.

Picture: Has nothing to do with book, but does have to do with blood pressure. How many of these cookies do you think you can eat without it affecting health? I am thinking alot. I will let you know.

Gentleman Woman Farmer

That is what my neighbor called me yesterday, somewhat stumbling over it all. A gentlemanwomanfarmer. I guess that is alot better than 'single-mom-getting-into-lordknowswhat-without-a-man girl' neighbor. Sometimes I feel I am on the receiving end of folks not able to fit me into their little hole of working single ma. Whatever that means in their head, I guarantee I don't fit it.
In the past two years I have dealt with things I never dreamed were still happening around Seattle, or for that matter, since the 1970's. I forgot how open Seattle is. There is a reason people are moving here in droves.
I am only 20 miles away, but wow, it is quite a different beast over here. I am missing the alarm in my brain that has a clearly designated this-is-woman-behavior and this-is-man-behavior section. I didn't grow up that way in my family. If it needed doing, it was done. Didn't matter what gender accomplished the task. In this place, for better or worse, I am the do everything person. I don't have the luxury of only cooking and cleaning. I also have to fix the mower (slowly) clean the gutters (fearfully) get the cars repaired (I like this part) talk to neighbors with wayward dogs (not so much) oh, and get my kids in to get their teeth cleaned. For the first time in my life, I have been told that there are things women do, and things men do, and that is for a reason. And, that it is in the bible. Sigh. I am hitting small bumps of how to fit into community meetings, where the women flow to one area and the men to another. I have a foot in both the decision making homeowner group and the childrearing gardening cooking group. How is that navigated? Before I die, I will know. But for now, I don't. And sometimes it is just tiring. I know why I have such a fierce love of inclusiveness within groups. Some sort of reaction to being excluded. Yeah, yeah, not everyone needs to like me, but civility is a good thing. I make it sound like everyone is cognizant of their behavior, and I really think they are not. All strange. But also, all invigorating for me. I love a good challenge, and an opportunity for opening minds, or probably more appropriate for me, but less effective, the opportunity to smack closed minds into shock mode. But politely, of course.

I am really doomed if a man does wander into my life. Since I don't want to be the inside the house cleaning person. Or even the crafty person. I want to be the outside breaking things like my lawn mower person. Or trying to fix things and getting all oily and dirty person. Or tying my hair up with baling twine and wearing jeans all day person. And then when I am all dirty and tired come in the clean house with dinner already done person. I also don't want to be the scrub around the base of the toilet person. That is my least favorite job.

Friends

1. That is a very wacked opinion, Ms. Feisty. Can we make a $1000 bet whether that happens or not? Am confirming at LEAST Saturday night.
2. I need garden help, Ms. Green. The weeds are sprouting. And I am just watching them.
3. Ms. McBride: Rest well. It will all be over soon. (Wow, that sounds almost deadly)

Another commute, another coffee accident

The big maw of the ferry awaits me...
I had to really think where this is! Duh. It is Bremerton, home of the Navy Shipyards. And quaint coffee shops, antique stores, excellent public art and a few good art galleries. Yay Bremerton! I can't figure out how I took this picture. That is the rack on the truck unglamorously framing the shot.

My daily commute. Coffee cup just perched for spillin', laptop open and ready to receive that spill, and about 10 minutes into the ferry ride me drooling, face pressed up against the driver side window sleeping. Ah yes, I am a hot BABE.

Dress Shopping for Assistant to the Bride

I am seeing a pattern. Bridesmaid dresses all seem to be for much younger females than I. As in, ones with perky small non-childrearing breasts, a 'sleeker' waist and let's just face it, overall YOUNGER. The clincher was when I tried on a dress and had to manually pull parts of my anatomy up about 6 inches (I am not kidding) to smoosh in those parts of my anatomy into the too small breast containment zone. I could not figure out what the lumps were above my belly button. They were my boobs flattened. That was a very sad realization. Not a good look. (But hey, I would really make the lovely bride look good, wouldn't I?) And really, spaghetti straps? Those won't even hold my .... well, we are running a family style blog here. I am thinking the whole strapless concept is a danger zone for me unless this is a 'clothing optional' wedding. And it is not. What if I had to jump in the air with my arms up for some strange reason?

I think I will start looking at the mother of the bride/groom dresses.....

Habitat for Humanity - training

I have written before about my extreme love for the re-use building supply store. And craigslist. The reason I basically have close to $7000 worth of never installed bathroom materials sitting in the garage waiting to go in my "new" bathroom, and what did I pay? Kohler, Restoration Hardware, American Standard...ah yes, I paid just around $900.
There was an article in the paper yesterday about training for women on construction basics with then the ability to help build a house nearby. I am going for it. I am master at painting, but construction has me looking to the kids dad, friends or neighbors. It would be nice to know how to do it. Way way in my faraway youth I was trained on what I consider huge equipment for art school.... which had a masterful shop, but I recall none of that. Other than the saw was really big. And would take your finger tips off lickitysplit. And that the art piece I produced got good reviews and a killer story from a classmate at 4 in the morning the night before it was shown.
Such a long time ago. But I still remember that story!

Junior Bridesmaid Gowns by Alvina Valenta - Style 507

Now that I wonderfully thrown a fit at my gal pal 3 months before her wedding.... Rose has found her bridesmaid dress. We still need authorization from the bride for color choice, but it was grueling getting the daughter to pick a dress! There was one that she and I both Loved, but I figured the bride would not want two gals standing by her side dressed like classical roman slave girls ala 2010. I do have a wee bit of sense.
Junior Bridesmaid Gowns by Alvina Valenta - Style 507

About said personal fit: when longtime friends no longer keep in touch or share their lives with you the way they did, it sucks. I am just realizing how much it sucks and able to recognize it and no longer take it personally, but it is hard to lose that link in communication. When your lives are woven together by history, familarity, love, longevity and stories... I am torn between "I should have just kept it to myself since she is getting married in three months" and "share." I chose share, and we shall see where that goes. There is so much more wrapped up in this conversation... but the bottom line for me nowadays is trust. I suppose that will be my mantra for the rest of my days of living. And that squirrel-y word 'truth' which I used to believe was so concrete and black and white, and it is nothing of the sort. Where are those hard black and white words that we can solidly build upon? Which ones are written in stone?

Fort Worden Port Townsend

We took a quick trip over spring break up to ol' Fort Worden. These were built as WWI and WWII security for the entrance to Puget Sound, one of three such batteries. All that are left are echo-ey huge cement blocks buried in the hillsides. Remnants of the cannon supports, ammunition rooms and narrow hallways abound. The rockin' thing is that you can climb anywhere in, over, through them. The hidden tunnels are the creepiest. There are no lights other than our own weak flashlights brought from home.

Whirlwind of Anger and Bad Parenting

Today is the first Easter in my life spent alone. Yes, yes, I suppose I am feeling sorry for myself. I am still at heart a spoiled only child. And therefore, what did I do when the kids arrived this evening from their weekend at dads? Called their father to the carpet for not even registering it was Easter (still a big deal at my house) the importance of his involvement with his son, and my extreme desire not to have to tell him these things since I am not in that wife role any longer. Then I moved on to our son, who was procrastinating about school work. Then I nailed Rose about her brothers hair. (can you see this is starting to become non-sensical anger?)
Rose came downstairs after the lights were out to have a heart to heart with me about how inappropriate and mean what I said was. And that she thought I should apologize. And she was right. When I think about what I said it makes me cringe. So not like me, but so very like me to attack in that manner when I feel like crap. I apologized. And she shed her traditional "tears of frustration" at me. Funny when a 14 year old can switch maturity level with a 45 year old.
Then to top off the evening I sent a volatile email off to a good friend that the timing is very inconvenient for her stress levels. Or mine for that matter. I suppose that is another post.
At age 45 I have finally figured out that when I am angry, it is actually fear. That is so difficult for me to claim, since I would always define myself as fearless. Cautious yes, but fear, no. But fear is very present when I roll into this sort of erratic nastiness. So I suppose my next 45 years will be finding out where this fear comes from and how to not make those I love miserable when I am threatened. Sigh. Well, that does give me some time....

Rainbow - Must be Shamrock Shake time

Strange but true. When we were coming back from Rose's piano we saw this lovely vision of brightness in a crappy weather day. But look... look where the end of the rainbow rests. McDonald's. McDonald's was enveloped in the wide array of rainbow tints, all lovely and glowing.

Seattle Viaduct

The Seattle waterfront has a two-level freeway running next to and above it.
Sometimes when things have always been there (ya know, within your own lifetime) you get used to seeing it and cannot imagine anything else.

The unfortunate truth is that this is duplicate to the freeway in San Francisco that pancaked and fell during the 1989 earthquake. Seattle has been ignoring this fact and dealing with it at the same time. Local news reports after the SF earthquake reported--the Seattle viaduct is NOT like the San Francisco viaduct -- and then proceeded to tell us it is not long for this world and sinking and placed weight restrictions on it. See, the freeway is built upon fill. That fill is supported by wood pilings that date back to early Seattle. When where I was standing in the photo was water and docks. And those pilings have been chewed by piling eating worms. So those pilings really are not supporting the pillars any longer. Hence, the freeway sinking. Hence, the metal supports added in pic #1. I think all that temp work to shore it up was over 14 million. Here is the possible replacement that our governor,

Gregoire, and our former mayor, Nickels were in a pissing match about. Well now Seattle has a new mayor, god help that city, McGinn, such a perfect Seattle can't make a decision, let's make sure we all feel good about it, let's have absolutely no leadership experience or budget handling experience but get people to vote for us because we are not the other guy, let's have endless pointless expensive time wasting meetings about it and then still not make a decision Mayor McGinn. I don't know what his opinion is about it other than he may want half the lanes dedicated to walkers and bikers... which the day I see semi trucks from the waterfront hauling cargo all across the US by bicycle is the day I will stop drinking coffee. This simulation of the viaduct replacement by tunnel under Seattle is brilliant. I did not add the simulated viaduct in an earthquake that is also on youtube... that is the sort of thing that makes people paranoid. (And I think my car was represented in there...) but you can google that in your own time. I will not contribute to american paranoia. Except through my own children.

Under Seattle by car.... : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgtOTMJt-AI (note, I can't get this to work, if it works for you, let me know)

Seattle views

The first image is a view of the historic Smith Tower on the right --the smaller pointed-hat topped building all alone. This building - for over 50 years the tallest building west of the Mississippi - is now barely seen compared to the rest of the citys highrise towers. This pic is deceptive, since my camera and perspective make all those towers seem about th same height. The large black tower in the center, tallest in Seattle, was evacuated on 9/11 since the country was flipping out. Justifiably.

The Smith tower has a room you can rent at the top of it with a 360 degree view of Seattle and Puget Sound. The cement structure below is the viaduct, an elevated freeway that runs above the Seattle waterfront and doomed in an earthquake. It is closed this weekend for measuring... since it is sinking and unstable. I used to not drive on it except under duress, or when late. Now I drive on it since it is the fastest route to the ferry.

I have accepted my mortality.

Zoning changes

As I mentioned before, when buying this house I did every possible type of research to figure out zoning, land-use and projected projects in the area. We are zoned 5-acre rural. I bought waaaay outside of the city limits, since they were going for 'density' in that area. I bought a property with wetlands on it. Protected, yes? I know I have limits placed by county and state regulations as to what I am able to do near it.

Two days ago I got a note in the mail about a public meeting. Why? Because they are going to rezone us rural industrial. Can we say "stressed out and ready for a fight?" Yes, we can say that easily.